The food-warming fridge of potential doom

Yeah, so our refrigerator died the other night. Well actually, it’s been slowly dying since the last week*, but nobody really noticed ’til recently when they went for their ice cream and it was all melty. I just thought maybe the freezer door didn’t close all the way, and overnight with a verified closed door would refreeze everything.

Yyyyeah, like no such luck. Anyway, yesterday morning I went in for some sandwich fixins’, and it was about 80degF on both the fridge and freezer side. Oh, and it stank. Not that general “oh, I think something might be spoiled” stank; more like the air in the kitchen was shimmering like that over asphalt on a hot summer day. IT STUNK. But I was late for work, so I left it to stink and went to work.

My housemates, knowing that tonight was the night we were to open that foul stinking beast and clear all the rotting food out of it, were nowhere to be found. Cunts.

“I’m goin’ in!”

So yeah, that’s how I spent yesterday evening. I masked off my face with a t-shirt doused liberally in some kind of girl-chasing stinkum that’s been sitting on my shelf since time immemorial. Three bags of spoiled food on the curb. I made the mistake of opening a tupperware full of (it looked like it was once turkey, mashed potatoes and something green)…my eyes watered and I almost blew chunks right then and there. That stench was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before in my life. It was downright colorful, a sharp prickly rainbow of oh-god-why-did-I-open-that. After reapplying cologne to my face-shirt, I sealed up that bag immediately and threw it to the curb, and decided any other tupperware in the fridge was beyond salvage. If they don’t like it, they can start a fund for replacements.

Anyway, this fridge was not much more than a year old, so it’s being replaced tomorrow under warranty. By then I’ll be making sushi and trying to forget.

*come to think of it, I had been spending more quality time on the can this week than usual, but I didn’t know why.


Leave a Reply