Holiday bleh pt2

Ya, it’s the holidays, so my folks have gone raving psychotic. I awake to the sounds of them screaming and bitching at each other downstairs, which only happens just before Christmas (like clockwork) and to a lesser extent, Thanksgiving, especially if there are relatives coming over. How it works is that Party A gets worked up into a frenzy and goes homicidal nonlinear for reasons that are not entirely clear, but seem to involve the belief that the house and everything in it must be no less than perfect / spotless, and that any food prepared must be on par with that of a team of the finest gay French chefs. Which I can’t honestly say I see the point of, since it serves no other purpose than to show off to our relatives (guests) (who are less well-off, and anyway do not put on such pretenses when they have guests over) a false impression of how we really live, so that they can go back to their respective shitholes feeling extra good about themselves for the holidays. Nevermind the fact that the primary goal of our average relative will be to come over for a few hours to eat our food, shake a few hands and then scoot.

Parties B, C, and D can either try to help, in which case they’re bastards for getting in the way and doing everything wrong, or stay the hell out of the way, in which case they’re bastards for not helping. Either way, all parties get screamed at, which tends to encourage an avoidance response that ultimately more or less guarantees the latter. Party B bears the brunt of the hissy and thus may also be driven out of the linear region for short periods.

*That* sound was a cooked turkey being either dropped or thrown on the floor, and I’d really rather not know the details. Think I’ll continue hiding out.

I don’t like to say that I’d just like for all this holiday stuff to be over with, but on a brighter note, I can say (unlike many people that I know) that I live in a non-dysfunctional family 362 days a year.


Leave a Reply