Either stumbled across, or from people I know…ya, I have this bad habit of saving them :-)
“Heh well, technically the picture is always upside down since the light hits your eye, which inverts what is actually there. Its a cool aspect of evolution that has allowed us to align our perspective of the world with the direction of gravity, despite the fact that its not the way the world actually is.” -Don’t remember! Found on Slashdot of all places.
“My lack of enthusiasm could not be contained.”
“Her expression, though perplexed, was not perplexing.” (http://www.jonathanvangieson.com/)
“To err is human; to admit it, a blunder.”
“If all this should have a reason, we would be the last to know.”
“HOT PACKET ON SERVER ACTION! Click here for FREE ACCESS to streaming video of dirty packets penetrating badly-configured firewalls!!!”
“They will give a permittivity value in the datasheet, but this is based on a theoretical calculation only. If they quote it as being more than about 90%, you know they’re talking bul*cough*it.” -M*
“Some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.”
“No man is worth a woman’s tears; the only one who is, will never make her cry”
“The true measure of a man is how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”
“If you try to fail and succeed, which have you really done?”
Stubbornness we deprecate,
Firmness we condone.
The former is our neighbor’s trait,
The latter is our own.
“Know what I want? A coffee mug with a picture of my coffee mug on it.”
“There is no nice way to enforce patents any more than there is a nice way to rape people.” – argoff
“without nerds, the world would be a nerdless place”
“Save sinners! They can be redeemed for cash prizes.”
“you’re the kind of girl i’d dream about if i still had dreams.”
“All is fear in love and war.”
“He could sell a ketchup popsicle to a lady wearing white gloves”
“When we ride on trains she’d be happier knowing I had designed it, I’d be happier knowing she’d built it. We don’t ride trains much. We know too much.”
“guys with boobs…kinda make me wanna laugh and cry at once” – me
“The best way to get rid of worries is to let them die of neglect.”
“We made beautiful music for a few hours. Beautiful music being the sound a bag of socket wrenches in a dryer makes. ” – Seen on craigslist
“Get even with those who help you.”
“The world needs more t-shirts with molecules on them.” – JR
JR : I think my sanities are starting to run away.
Me: sounds like it’s time to chase after them with a pointy stick
JR : I WILL IMPALE THEM ON MY MARKER!
“To label someone a sinner is the same as labelling the person an air breather.”
“There was a NEJM article about how to detect cocaine packets.
That now are manufactured, wax covered capsules that you are supposed to swallow to conceal.
And are in theory a lot safer than the double wrapped condoms of yore.
Just think, if you’re using cocaine it’s probably been through someone’s digestive system.
Mmm, brings a new meaning to ‘ass crack’ ” – JR
“haha.. Yes it gets hard to make sure i leave enough time for everything. Ive found if i dont sleep i get an extra 8 hours each day for free” – Some hacker guy
F*: im happy for yah
Me: me too… I just hope it lasts
F*: just dont let her get away
Me: haha…that sounded…stalkery
JR: Hmm, I think I thought up a new pickup line by accident.
JR: Can’t wait to use it, need only 6 more years…
JR: “You really should see a doctor about that swelling.”
“Discussion….isn’t that a cure for cranial swelling?” -me
“when i was little, i could hear a high-pitched sound whenever a television was on anywhere – even if the volume was turned all the way down and I was in the next room. nobody else i knew could hear it so i thought i had something wrong with me”
Na*: ann t******, wellesley student, dies in tragic smore making studybreak accident
Na*: in annes memory her smart and nice roommate na* who wasnt even there at the time because she was volunteeringat the local blind and death school dance has planted a tree in annes honor
Na*: and has started the ann t****** foundation to educate young women on the dangers of smore making and prevent accidents such as this
Na*: i wish it was me instead of her says na*
Na*: rucquia the fire cheif will speak at the funeral service
Na*: anns parents are suing the jet puffed marshmallow companies for not putting a warning on the bag
JR: Ok, YOUR alarm cock isn’t going to be ringing at 6AM
“The best way to get rid of a bad mood is to give it to someone else” – Calvin and Hobbes (paraphrase)
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you’re being miserable.” — C.B. Luce
“You can chase a butterfly all over the field and never catch it.
But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder.”
“Psychiatry: It’s all fun and games until someone loses an I.” -me
“Malfeasibility study: determining if your latest scheme is underhanded enough to be profitable.” -me
“Sorry I’m late…What are you doing? Where are you at?” -GJM (meeting me at his place, but got stuck on the T)
“Oh, just at your place, chatting up your wife…” – me
“Seriously dude, don’t touch my wife.” -GJM
“I can’t believe that slick bastard…his boys got him off.” -JP (commenting on the recent Michael Jackson trial)
“I thought that’s why he was in court in the first place.” -me
“I’ve never heard of a 9AM booty call before” -ER (after overhearing a marathon session of loud sex by a roommate Judy)
“Ya…I don’t even know if they have a name for that. You know, like a nooner, or Afternoon Delight…I don’t know what you call a morning booty call.” -me
“We should invent a name…e.g. “pulling a Judy”…it’d be famous.” -ER
“A Judy call?” -me