Archive for March, 2004

Going-away party for the Dos

As subject implies :-) Hung with the whole work crew for a few hours, then us young farts branched off to have a (Dos’s last) night out on the town. Great times, with the possible exception of showing up at Georges (bar), which was completely dead and smelled like fish. Got the hell outta there. Met up with a couple girls that M* knew, in town visiting at the moment. Got all of us hanging off of (defacing?) a 3-ton bronze teddy bear in front of FAO Schwartz in the middle of the night. Ended up getting some *helpful* advice (ahem…not taken) regarding conversing with classy ladies: “Somehow, you have to bring up the topic of Brazil….then you can slip in something about a Brazilian wax, and see if she’s got one / heard of it / interested…”

QOTD: I wish I had the master power button. Think the world is consuming too much energy today? Turn it off. That would make a nice “shWOOoom” thing-turning-off noise.

St. Paddy’s

Ah, good ole St. Patrick’s day… an excuse to go out drinkin’ on a work night. So yeah, all us young farts convened on this place whose name I can’t remember, and tried to dance with a bunch of girls who paid us little attention. I think a couple of us (myself not among them) ended up talking to a couple girls for a while, finding them to be idiots, and parting company politely. Myself, I wiggled my worm all night with only one bite to show for it (ahem, this is speaking completely figuratively), but this was toward the end of the night when the ghetto music was cranked up to about 140dB, facilitating all that bump-n-grind stuff but pretty much eliminating all hope of conversation. Not that I’m complaining about the bump-n-grind, mind you ;-)

PS. Jared, I don’t know what was in that last round, but I think I could see my breath afterward. Flammible-icious.

QOTD:
LOCAL MAN CHOKES TO DEATH TRYING TO PRONOUNCE DANGEROUS WORD

CHOKAWNIT—The celebrated fish filleter and gourmand Hudson Rattletrap has died. He choked to death last night while trying to pronounce the word “blancmange.”

Police are urging citizens to approach this word with caution.

And the 2004 Go Bugger a Hamster award goes to…

Well, I got a friendly letter from this dot.bomb today care of the Web site I administer, Something to the effect of “we’re ready to IPO and need to sanitize our image a bit, so takedown your site’s factual but negative information about our company, or we sue” (okay, I read between the lines a little bit). Well, I don’t take kindly to this sort of thing, but, taking the matter seriously and being the entirely-too-nice guy that I am, I drafted a response of 4,610 words where three would suffice (I think you know which three). Oddly enough, it seems the likely postcondition of all this is that the contested document will contain all the same information it did before, only more of it, and with lawyer-resistant supporting materials (you could say, evidence?) to back all its claims. And of course, the full text of the original complaint and response, and links to some other ones other sites have received. There’s a valuable lesson to be learned here, something along the lines of “how to piss people off, and regret it”…

QOTD: “In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil…”

Policy of truth

Ahh…that queasy I-just-swallowed-live-butterflies feeling. Ya, um…this not-lying-to-people thing… I kinda wonder why I keep with it.

Have you ever done an experiment and gotten a result you know just can’t be right, so you do it again, and keep getting the same impossible result?

Maybe it is time for me to learn from the experts, and become a lying shitbag…

QOTD: Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. – Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

It was on fire when I laid down on it

Our lab caught fire today. That was…interesting. Some few hundred people wandering about the parking lot, chatting idly, blinking in the sunlight. More fire trucks than I knew Medford had.

From my neck of the lab, it’s amazing how really not-loud the fire alarm is. I thought someone had tripped some kind of theft alarm / overcurrent protection / smurf detector in the back, and went back there to see what was going on. It wasn’t ’til I saw / smelt the billowing smoke that it dawned on me that I should probably be headed the other direction. (Actually, it was already out by then, but I guess there is some rule about staying in a building with the fire alarm going..)

QOTD: “The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.” – Stanley Kubrick