This wouldn’t be a proper bloggg without at least one vaguely political rant, so without further ado…<\/p>\n
I’ve come to a conclusion, and a lot of you are not gonna like it. It goes like this: I’m not voting for any fool who wants to shit up this fine country by increasing our Homeland Security. I live in about the safest, most secure country I can think of save for maybe Canada, or the Netherlands. (Wake up, smoke a little ganje, hack a little Linux, not hear crap about terrorists all day, yeah.) Now, I’m sure the US of A is just brimming over with disaffected citizens looking to migrate en masse to the Middle East, Cuba and Beijing, but me, I think I’ll stay where I am, thanks. (All right, well just stay out of Detroit<\/a>).<\/p>\n Now, politicians in need of fast votes on the cheap, and especially the ones who think this whole liberty bit is overblown (John Ashcroft<\/a>, I’m looking in your direction), are likely to trot out 9\/11 as an excuse to drop a little Big Brother on our asses (they prefer to call it “increasing our Homeland Security”). 9\/11, 9\/11, 9\/11… we need to increase security because 9\/11, we need to subpoena your library books<\/a> because 9\/11, we need to read your e-mail<\/a> because 9\/11, we need to have a look at your telephone bill<\/a>, because 9\/11.<\/p>\n Ooh, I’m looking under my bed tonight…the terrorists are gonna get me! Now, I know the politically sensitive powers of the world are going to serve my ass to me on a Pyrex plate for this, and 9\/11 **victims the world over will ring my phone off its hook to express disdain over my lack of sensitivity, but here’s how I see my risk of getting “got” by terrorists right about now: 9\/11, the terrorist event politicians can’t stop talking about, occurred in 2001 and consisted of 2 exploding airplanes. (2004 – 2001) = 3 years, so the American Mean Osama Bin Ladin Terrorism Rate is approximately 2\/3 or 0.667 exploding planes per year. Let’s estimate America as about 3.5 million square miles<\/a>, and that the kill radius of an exploding airplane is 2 square miles (accounting for flying shrapnel, etc.). So the average American citizen’s annual Probability of Getting Blowed Up by Osama is approximately (2 \/ 3,500,000) * 0.667 = 3.81E-7, or about 1 in 2,623,688.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, the odds of someone my age (20-24) dying from<\/a>… Total odds of dying between 20-24 in general = a little over 1 in 1000.<\/p>\n Yeah, I hear it now…”But wait! Osama’s not going to waste his time and copious bodily fleas crashing planes into Montana, he’s gonna come get your happy ass in a well-populated area.” All righty then, let’s adjust our figure by a factor of ten and say I have a 1 in 262369 chance of getting Blowed Up by Osama by age 24, about the same as my odds of being struck by lightning<\/a> in any given year. This all means I, myself, am still a couple orders of magnitude more of a danger to myself (accidents + suicide = 1 in 1901) than this camel-riding ass nugget and all his Al-Qaeda dingleberries put together.<\/p>\n Needless to say, I feel plenty safe right now…but the nice man standing<\/a> at the door to the T with the rubber glove isn’t making me feel any safer. As Uncle Sam adds 30 new surveillance cameras<\/a> to Boston (“for Homeland Security during the DNC”…funny how they’re not coming back down once it’s over) to augment the 900+ already in place, I can only imagine how freeze-frames of me picking my nose in traffic are going to stop terrorism. Presented here are my Projected Boston Anti-Terrorism Spycam Stats for 2004:<\/p>\n Speeders caught: 57 \nNow remember kids, statistics don’t lie, but these are projected<\/i> statistics. Tellya what, first person to actually catch Bin Ladin on a lamppost surveillance cam gets a free hat<\/a> (I won’t be using it anymore).<\/p>\n
\nAccidents… 39.8 per 100,000 = 1 in 2513
\nHomicide…. 1 in 6098
\nSuicide…. 1 in 7813
\nOther stuff…1 in 3704<\/p>\n
\nRed light violators: 42
\nJaywalkers: 22
\nWWIs (Walking While Intoxicated): 21
\nPeople enjoying a little weed after work: 6
\nGuys getting a blowjob in the alley when they thought no-one was looking: 3
\nBin Ladins: 0<\/p>\n
![kick in the nuts<\/a>.<\/p>\nQOTD: I’m a dog. I lie awake at night wondering if my owner is really a dyslexic agnostic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This wouldn’t be a proper bloggg without at least one vaguely political rant, so without further ado… I’ve come to a conclusion, and a lot of you are not gonna like it. It goes like this: I’m not voting for any fool who wants to shit up this fine country by increasing our Homeland Security. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","iawp_total_views":7,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-65","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants-rambles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=65"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=65"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=65"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tim.cexx.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=65"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}](\"\/images\/john_popping.jpg\"){kind=link}