1) Dude. Seriously. The display we’ll be designing into our gadget won’t be ready for 6 more months? You said it was ready a week ago, and that was two months ago. Our customer is crawling up my ass for the prototype we promised them in December. So you gave me this other one and said “prototype with this, it’s exactly the same.” After three days’ strangling a datasheet out of your chip vendor, I got a partial datasheet with NO protocol info. Now three more days and re-pinging your guy I weasel the protocol info from your end, and the protocol on this one bears no freaking resemblance to the one we’ll actually be using. So why am I to be spending the time to integrate this one when 90% of that code will have to be scrapped and rewritten anyway?
2) Dude. Seriously. Tell me mortgage guy, what the hell is mortgagemail.com, and why are you sending me documents through some meaningless middleman instead of just emailing, faxing or dead treeing them to me directly? … Ok, I signed up on this dealy, but it just says “There are no messages to display for the selected month and year.” Also, it didn’t ask for any verification info, address, SSN or anything when I signed up to receive my Super Secure Documents that are apparently too sensitive to email. Did I miss a memo here? …Ohhhh, you didn’t say anything about having to sign up with this specific email address, which you shouldn’t have anyway; I created a new email address for this signup, as I do with every other place I sign up on the green earth. … Dude, seriously. I gave you the correct address to send the stuff to that middleman site with THREE TIMES already. Dude. Seriously. I just gave you the insurance company’s full details and phone number in the email you replied to to ask what the insurance company’s name and phone number is. Open your g*dd*mmuth******in eyes. …Dude. Seriously. I do not sign up for random commercial Web sites using my (only-remaining-spam-free) personal email address. I don’t care if you think this mail-a-dealy thing is the bees’ knees, and I don’t care if you want to save a buck in postage by giving me Yet Another Password to Remember and Yet Another Site to Login and Poll Frequently for New Messages, no frickety way. And if that does not work, I still have a “mail box”, which is still perfectly functional and in fact attached to the very house we are trying to refinance here. In fact, I pass by it on a regular basis, which is more than I can say for “mortgagemail.com”.
3) Ma’am. Seriously. What do you mean you can’t fax proof of homeowners’ insurance to the mortgage guy? I am the policy holder, and I am explicitly authorizing you to do so. They have to call directly..What do you mean I can’t authorize it? I AM THE FRICKING POLICY HOLDER.
4) Dude. Seriously. No less than three admin people and a Director of Mechanical Engineering are in a meeting with a battery and <specialized electronic gadget> company, the goal of said meeting being to discuss combining our technologies into a seamless product, gazing glasseyedly at schematic diagrams on the projector, and you did not think to invite a single electronics engineer to this meeting? (Oh yes, this IS one of the companies that found out about us by meeting me at ESC. I found this out when the DME came running into my office after the meeting with a stack of electronics samples and evaluation kits, asking when I will have a chance to look at them.)
5) Dude. Seriously. Can I get a quote to get these circuit boards made? This is the third time I’ve asked. Yes, I understand I can’t get electrical testing on a multi-project panel, and yes, I know you received the file, but how much will it cost to make them? Dude. Seriously. I know Chinese New Year was last week, but you can’t *still* be hungover, seriously?
6) Dude. Seriously. What do you mean our Molex crimper doesn’t crimp Molex crimp terminals? No, hand-soldering bare wires to 0.5mm crimp terminals in volume quantities is non-trivial. Wait, you already shipped out the gadget that needed the crimp terminals last Friday, without any? Why are you asking me about crimp terminals today?
And I wonder why I spend an entire day and get *butt* done.
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