Hey, hey, hey, I’m quilty / And you’re quilty too

Yes, another toilet related, potty post :-P. Some time ago I mentioned my housemates and their toilet paper management strategies (or lack thereof). Today, I found out just how deep the rabbit hole goes! Sometime Sunday or so, I finished the (quilted) roll downstairs and, ever conscientious, went back upstairs to fetch a replacement, only to discover that we are again down to zero spare rolls. In a pinch (no pun intended), I restocked it with my Nose Blowin’ Roll* from my room, taken from that last big brick I bought. That batch was of about average quality…not the el-cheapo commercial single-ply sandpaper**, but the way these housemates go through the stuff and don’t replace it, I also didn’t splurge on the fancy, quilted scented flavored floral-patterned fluffy puff stuff either.

Today I go in there to find my downstairs housemate has actually removed this roll, planted it on the upstairs toilet tank and replaced it with a quilted roll from his secret stash. I guess it’s marginally excusable since he has a girlfriend that comes over, but I think now I’ve seen everything!

* ok, I suppose that sort of makes me a TP hoarder too…but my hoard is limited to a single, publicly viewable roll that’s just there for practical nose-honking purposes.

** TP aimed at the commercial or public facility market, with brand names such as “Executive Choice”, featuring a box with a fat red checkmark in it (like something you might see on an expense report spreadsheet) as a logo. As executives are often graded on bottom-line performance, not the public’s posterior happiness, this sounds to me like a similar warning label to “Contractor Grade” on hardware store products such as duct tape and garbage bags, selling at half the price of the regular ones. Might as well just market this under the brand name Lowest Bidder(tm) and be done with it. (If the guy coming to work on your house shows up with Contractor Grade anything, you might want to invest in some smoke alarms.)


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