Archive for February, 2004

I love Scams!

Title: I AM ME
Author: Me



What you’ve just read is a work of exceptional artistic expression. So exceptional, in fact, that it will be featured in the anthology of the International League of Poetry, and is a semi-finalist in the $10,000 contest. Well, I haven’t actually been told so yet, but I am so confident in my MaD artistic SkIllZ that I will go ahead and presuppose this. I am so hopeful that I will be a winner! Just look at some of the other semi-finalists.

(Hey, what are you complaining about? Mine even rhymes and everything. Quit yer bitchin’.)

All right, what I was really going for is a chuckle in a related contest.

QOTD: Many people consider null not being equal to nothing. Especially the data base theoretics. For them, null could be considered to be the abscence of nothing. So, if you have nothing and remove that nothing, the state of what’s left over, is null. (wtf?)


Grrrr #1

(yesterday) “I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have a wonderful testing opportunity for LCxxx (super-secret project slated to wrap up in, oh, April). Bad news is we’ll need a fully debugged, working prototype by next Friday. It’ll need to record continuously for 3 months on the ridiculously under-sized memory we slapped onto the test boards, without running out the ridiculously under-sized 9v battery. What are you doing this weekend?”

Grrrr #2

Me: whats up?
A*: nothing just waiting for ur bro to wake up to give me a call
Me: lol
Me: he’s still asleep?
A*: ya hes hasnt had much sleep this week
Me: y?
A*: probably cause hes out with his other gf
A*: lol jk
A*: dunno
A*: umm so do u think david would ever cheat on me?
A*: and if so with who
<artful dodge>….

QOTD: People deliberately lie for two reasons: To get what they want, and avoid conflict.
Actually people lie for a third reason, to GENERATE conflict. …
Actually people deliberatly lie for one reason: to get what they want. If I’m lying to avoid conflict or generate conflict, I’m still lying to get what I want.
What about people who tell the truth? Why do they do that?
So they can sleep at night.
So you say they lie in their sleep?

Storyful times

Ha, when the cat’s away, I wonder what the mouse will say? This cat’s been hearing some interesting ones lately. First off, I’m apparently madly in love with T*, who, as you might notice, gets entirely too much attention in this here bloggg :-) . Unfortunately, this is as much news to me as it is to anyone, and I wish someone had informed me of my feelings a couple months ago. Now don’t get me wrong here, I am in fact referring to the coolest and generally most interesting girl I have met in years, whose well-being I care about to an almost illogical extent. But I think ‘in love with’ is stretching the silly putty a bit.

Secondly, I’ve been asked by this very sweet former girlfriend of mine, whom I haven’t heard from in half a year or better, why I think she’s a cold-hearted bitch. Um….exsqueeze me? This one’s news to me as well, considering that I never have made (nor would make) any such assertion, and that she had never treated me less than excellently. I am informed that she got this impression from a known third party that I personally wouldn’t trust to truthfully recite my grocery list to me.

I’m kinda wondering now what other interesting tidbits are floating around out there…

QOTD: Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak………

These gentle walls, this metal sky

I had an interesting conversation with T* today, where I was asked if I have emotions. Izznt dat veerd? Well, maybe not so wierd. I hadn’t really given this much thought before. That is, how this whole uneasy agreement between mind and body that is me appears to the casual observer. Probably a little too quiet and a little too dull, at first anyway. Maybe a question, for us eccentric wierdness types, of how much we can expose before scaring people away.

Of course, general logicality may have something to do with it too. Excessive emotional involvement is not conducive to sane, rational thinking; I’ve seen this cause too many problems, in inter-personal matters and elsewhere. Any of my funks, fugues or general malaise tend to be seasonal in nature, so I tend to more or less write them off as an irrational fluke of biochemistry; yet more meaningless noise signals from my body that I tend to ignore.

I am probably not as expressive as I could be. Kinda the diametric opposite of the drama queen who makes sure you hear about every little thing that however transiently affected her mood that day. I’ve always fancied myself this rock of stability, remaining to a high degree balanced-ish and logical even while those around me are losing their heads. Maybe this is not always a good thing.

Come to think of it, this idea goes entirely too well with this bloggg’s current title-of-the-week (The uncanny valley). The term, the English translation of a term coined by a Japanese robotics guru, refers to a person’s negative or generally creeped-out response to something that is almost, but not-quite humanlike…you know, where there’s something just a little off about it. (Interacting with a walking, talking mannequin would probably unnerve you quite a bit….well it would me, anyway.)

Anyway, since my internal state is not easily guessed (much less via bloggg), I will try to explain my dominant emotion of the moment…although it seems to defy easy classification. (Which is not necessarily bad, since it isn’t much of an emotion if it can be described in one or two words). Wistful hollowness? OK – I think that didn’t make sense. Let me try to explain. I’ve just been listening to some CDs that I don’t listen to often and haven’t heard in a while. (NIN – Pretty Hate Machine; Ministry – With Sympathy) Specifically, haven’t heard since the tail end of this summer, just as the days were beginning to shorten and the nights to cool. Out at the cabin, all-nightering it up with some college buddies, cranking tunes against the stillness of the woods, playing around in the pool and soaking in the outdoor hot tub, just BSing, talking philosophy and gazing at the stars. Toasting to anything and everything, swilling Guinness and rolling our own cigarettes, having a great time that simply evades description. An empty bottle of Cap’n Morgan drifting lazily by as we gaze skyward and ponder just how we might have come to be. One would expect that a reminder of times like these would instill happiness, but mostly, it just gives me the feeling of missing those times, and makes me think how unlikely it is that we’ll have the chance to do things like this again. With me in Boston, the college crew spread around Indiana and Michigan, my forever official home near Chicago, and everyone with fulltime lives, it just doesn’t seem like those lazy summer days can return…

QOTD: “If it shits on land, you can eat it.” — South African take on which animals are an appropriate source of food

I Fail It

Tonight has not been my night for communication. I feel like I’ve fallen into a fountain of stupid and can’t claw my way back out. In two separate occasions, trying to ease things and then to just have a normal conversation without violating my personal ethics, I’ve only made things worse. It’s a good thing I’m not a spy.

What I really ought to do is crawl into a hole, and wait for the universe to continue expanding to the point where the energy density is too low to support life. Or ’til I starve, whichever comes first.

QOTD: “You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.” – Albert Einstein, explaining radio

White powder

As foretold by prophecy, I hit the slopes again today. (Umm…*snif* I can quit whenever I want) Actually getting the hang of this thing now, and have advanced from ridiculous speed to ludicrous speed and (mostly) mastered the art of slicing around randomly without planting my face. In fact, the guys I was meeting at the bottom later didn’t recognize me at first, because I came in feet-down :-) Kickass. Went to the side that *really* meant business. Maybe not the best of plans…ended up giving the snow oral once, but unharmed. Came down again just to prove that I was boss, with better results :) A little tender the next day.

QOTD: “I want evil Tamagotchis which breed. They could randomly take on behaviors which cause irritation and emotional distress to their owners, such as playing sick or crying a lot. They could measure their success by how many times the owner presses the off button, in a futile attempt to stop the harrassment. When two Tamagotchis are within radio frequency range, they could exchange data on the most successful techniques, and try to develop new techniques from random combinations of the old ones.”

“earth’s organic heritage”

Getting involved at all in this could cause me to lose some people I happen to like. But it’s just so hard to bite my tongue, while seeing her tear herself apart, in the hope that I am wrong.

QOTD: Ye cannot get the FLASK. It is firmly bolted to a wall which is bolted to the rest of the dungeon which is probably bolted to a castle. Never you mind.